Weigh In Wednesday

 

Happy Wednesday Girls!

 

It's been a rough week, not even gonna lie.

 

 

Friday night, I was really emotional and overly sensitive about always being at home and never doing anything. I picked a fight. It wasn't a bad fight, but more like "Hey, look at me! I want attention!" fight. It worked though, that "sometimes I'm a selfish douchebag and sometimes I'm wonderful" man of mine spent the next day shopping with me. Hardcore shopping too - T.J. MAXX, Target, Hobby Lobby and took me to a japanese steakhouse for lunch. I HEART FRIED RICE!

 

Sunday, Don was outside when I came flying down the muddy dirtroad in my pretty little silver car, radio blarin, mud flying, slippin and slidin. When I pulled in the yard, he got own to me like I was a little kid. My rationale was "I'm right down the road from the house, we own a tow truck. No big deal if I slide off in the ditch." Obviously we were not on the same page. He was so calm and patient about it but he was like "Are you crazy? Honey, that's not your truck, and you can't give that car hell. You're still paying for it!" And then it happened. I cried. WTF? I cried over that. I miss my truck yall. My pretty black ford f150, jacked up with mud tires and a brush guard and a pink salt life sticker on the back glass.

 

Later that day, I shrank my favorite aqua tank top and gray cardigan. Oh man, that was the softest thing I've ever put on! But then I realized that all is not lost, I'm losing weight and I'll be able to wear it again soon!

 

On the same day, I started the "kitchen part" of supper and went to sit on the front porch with Don while he grilled his famous ribs! I scorched the baked beans and ruined one of my new TFAL pans that the potatoes and eggs were boiling in. I make a mean 'tater salad but not that night. That night they had ribs and cookies.

 

See??? Rough! It would have been so easy to drown my sorrows in bacon and milk shakes and peanut m&ms! But somehow, I kept my shit together enough to not eat everything I saw because I was sad, upset, pissed off, heartbroken or bored.

 

I haven't got the exercise part down pat yet, but I did try to make healthy choices when I was eating and I was more mindful of how much I was eating and that helped alot with eating less.

 

 

All in all, this week was a success!

 

 This week!

 

Last week!

 

 

That's a loss of 4.8lbs yall!

 

Whether you worked out more, or ate less, or ate better, or whatever your goal for this week was, I hope everybody had a successful week! I know if I can do this, anyone can. If you need some support, or accountability, or just a friend, come see me (at the blog of course) or email me. I'll be whatever you need on this journey. Lord knows, I need somebody every now and then to give me that extra push!

 

 

 

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Tuesday Topics

Yayyy! Another linkup! Who doesn't love a good bucket list?

 

 

Here's part of mine!

 

Number One

 

Number Two

 

Number Three

 

 

Number Four

 

 

Number Five

 

 

Number Six

 

 

Number Seven

 

 

Number Eight

 

 

Number Nine

 

 

Number Ten

 

 

What's on yall's bucket list???

 

Finish the Sentence Linkup

 

 

Holly's super cute and Jake's super funny. Check them out and show them some love!

 

1.If calories didn't count, I would eat..

bacon, and shoestring fries dipped in a vanilla milkshake. for every meal.

 

2.On my Prom night....

my date left me there because I danced with someone who wasn’t him, and ate at krystals afterwards.

 

3.When I go to the store, I always buy...

mountain dew

 

4.Family functions typically...

one aunt gets tipsy and retells the same stories over and over. My grandma don’t do bullshit so she get's pretty gansta when the younger cousins start running in and out and fighting.

 

 

5. I think my blog readers...

are awesome for all of their support in my weight loss journey.

 

6. I'd much rather be...

at the lake swimming, fishing, tubing, grilling, tanning and laughing.

 

7. I have an obsession with...

the color aqua and soft sheets

 

8. My work friends...

are clique-y. Not cool.

 

9. When I created my Facebook account....

I was so nonchalant.I was still had my friends rated by importance on myspace.

 

10. My least favorite word is...

cunt. It’s just disturbing.

 

11. I really don't remember....

ANYTHING if I’m distracted when I hear, see or do it.

 

12. Justin Bieber....

is on my shit list.

Me time, or lack thereof.

I'm absolutely in awe at all the support and encouragement I got from my blog post today. It's weird and amazing at the same time to know there are so many people out there who are struggling themselves but are willing to reach out and support my struggle! I thank each of you from the bottom of my big ol heart and I look forward to getting to know yall and making some great friends! All that love just put me in a GREAT mood!

...and it lasted until I got to Walmart with four kids, three of ours and a boyfriend. If yall woulda seen us, you would have sworn that none of them had ever been to Walmart. They weren't really bein bad, like screaming or throwing tantrums but these kids have the worst case of ADHD EVER! Everything they saw was the coolest thing ever and HAD to have it! All I needed was some chalk for my new chalk board labels and a foam brush and something for supper.

At that point, I decided to let Alexis and Jared spend the night at their Granny's and if I hurried, I could make it to Albany! Albany has a Target, a mall, a Hobby Lobby and a Michaels. It's an hour away and I have several little projects I want to finish. Just because I can't go buy pretty clothes cause my fat ass won't fit in them, doesn't mean I can't make pretty things.Anyway I've been DYING to go and I don't want to go tomorrow - it's the only full day I have and I don't want to spend it shopping, especially since it takes an hour to get there and an hour to get home. And Sunday, Hobby Lobby is closed.

If I went to Albnay, AJ and her boyfriend would have to go. So I asked her if she wanted to go and she said "No!" Womp, womp, womp! My heart sank. There was no way I was dragging two miserable teenagers around. I've been so busy with moving and being domesticated that I haven't had any me time or any time to do any thing I want to do. And apparently I wasn't going to tonight either.

It changed my whole mood. Why is everyone so insensitive? I do everything for everyone. When's it my turn? I know the kids don't know any better but Don? I love that man more than life and I do everything I can to make his life easier. Why in the hell doesn't he get that I need to do something that doens't involve coding and billing colonoscopies, meal planning, and buying toilet paper? I mean seriously??? I can't remember the last time I did anything fun by myself or as a couple with Don. I'm tired of sitting at home and watching football/nascar/passtime/storage wars etc. but every time I ask him about doing something, he's tired or he's gotta be up early the next day or he just doesn't want to.

So I'm sitting here on the couch, not eating spaghetti o's, and watching some lame ass movie with Kirstie Alley and Tim Allen, with no craft supplies. I don't even drink but there's a liquor store down the road and it's reaaallly tempting yall. If I knew I wouldn't feel like shit tomorrow, I'd be there in a heart beat and then I'd spend the rest of the night in the bathtub with the jets on.

I'm sorry to be such a Sensitive Suzy but the way it all unfolded got me thinking and I wasn't real fond of the conclusion.

Fat to Fit Fridays

I'm a new follower to all three of these amazing women! Lori shared her touching story over at Mama Laughlin's yesterday and it took a lot of courage. She overcame her struggle and she looks amazing! When Hubby Jack advertised this link up, I knew it was exactly what I needed so I headed on over to check them out and found some awesome new ladies and blogs to stalk follow!

Motivation?

Yep, I need that!

Accoutability?

Need that too!

I posted yesterday about starting my weight loss journey for last and final time. Besides feeling bad that my oh-so-sexy fiance got stuck with this, I didn't add any other reasons that I wanted to lose the weight. It's not just for him, it's for me and it's for us. I was happier 40 lbs ago. I was in love with my life. I need to be there again.

My Motivation:

1. To love what I see when I look in the mirror.

2. To take all the cute engagement pictures.

3. To look gorgeous is my wedding dress.

4. To not be frustrated and heartbroken when I go shopping and nothing fits.

5. To want to go out on the weekends and not stay hidden in my house.

6. To be in love with myself and my life again.

7. This dress

Source

I found it on pinterest and bought it even though it doesn't fit. It was gorgeous!

8. To have more energy

9. To be healthier

10. To be a better wife to my husband

There is a shit ton of reasons but these are the most important. I'm so glad that there are so many amazing women and success stories here in blog land. It's not gonna be easy but now I know it's possible.

Weigh In Wednesday...On Thursday

I've been trying to do Weigh-In Wednesday for weeks now but I have somehow been too busy at work (where I blog from) or I forget or get distracted. Well today's the day I start my weight loss journey again for the last time!

I've stuggled with my weight for a loooooooong time. There was a time when I thought I was fat and I wasn't. I weighed 210 lbs and I got down to 185 lbs before I met Don and I was happy. But then I quit working part time at Bath and Body Works and started sittin at home, running our business and drinkin mountain dew like it was the only way to get into heaven. I thought all my clothes were shrinking but the reality of it was that I was getting fat.

Since then, I avoid mirrors. I HATE what I see looking back at me. I have no recent pictures of me because I avoid cameras too.  Even though we still have a pretty healthy sex life, it has suffered. We used to be like rabbits. He couldn't keep his hands off of me, and these days, well, I just don't feel sexy anymore. He still tells me Im beautiful but I don't radiate the confidence that he fell in love with. I feel bad because he got stuck with this. I'm not just doin it for him, but I need to be happy with myself again.

The Number.

Tailgating at a Luke Bryan concert - I cried when I saw this for the first time.



Tuesday Topics - Nine Things I Won't Change My Mind On

Dang yall, this one was kind of hard for me! It took a little thinking and it's just too early for that mess! I am so indecisive about pretty much everything and that's only because there are so many options when it comes to E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G!

So here are nine things I WON'T change my mind on.

1.  Organized Religion

I'm was brought up as a southern baptist. We went to Church on Sunday mornings and nights and Wednesday nights in our Sunday's best. I loved Church as a little kid. As I got older, I began to see how the Church politics affected the Church and that's not something I want to be involved in. I am still a Christian and I am still a Child of God. My fiance used to be a minister, I still try to be the best Christian I can be and our children go to Church. I just choose not to worship in a designated place at a designated time.

2. Harry Potter

I don't know if it's love or adoration or obsession or just plain craziness. It all started in 7th grade when the very first book came out and my teacher read a chapter a day. I've read all the books, most in 2 or 3 days, seen (countless times) and own all the movies. I squeal in delight when it's on tv (even though I've seen it and own it), have a hugh pinterest board dedicated to all things Harry Potter, I have a wand (really a stick, stained and clear coated with ployurathane), made on my stepkids be Harry Potter for Halloween (he couldn't decide), and play and beat them at Harry Potter Scene It. Oh and I almost forgot, I've dreaming of the day when I get to go to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter!

3. Being Skinny

I have never been skinny. I don't want to be skinny. EVER. I have been at a happy weight and I had curves, not rolls (what I have now), and I was not a size 0 or even an 8 and I was in love with the way I looked. The hubby doesn't find skinny women very attractive either. Or blondes. What the hell is wrong with him? JK'n, we BOTH find curvy brunettes to be the most attractive.

4. Being Simple

I'm the girl you won't see with hundred dollar handbags and stilettos and iphones and purse dogs and starbucks. To each his own and no offense if that's what you enjoy but me? HELL NAW! I adore jeans and tshirts and mostly no shoes. I only own about five pair of shoes. One purse. I'm a one shampoo and conditioner kind of girl, almost no hair products, even though my hair is naturally curly. No mani/pedi but I do paint my own toe nails, just not fingernails. I like my makeup soft and natural. I own maybe seven pairs of earrings, one bracelet (gift) and my engagement ring. I don't do fancy restuarants like Olive Garden - in the south Olive Garden is fancy. I do like the boneless wings at Applebee's though. There's something freeing about not being high maintenance.

5. Helping Animals

It absolutely breaks my heart every time I see a picture or read a story about an animal that was abused or neglected. It's one of the worst feelings ever and I want to be the one to save them all. I've never stop trying to save them all. I preach adoption and not buying from a pet store because they support mills and cruel breeding and living environments. It enrages me to see people who mistreat any animals in any way. When we do secret santa at work at christmas, I always signup for a gift card to walmart to but blankets, food, toys, and whatever else is needed at the local shelter and then deliver it. It's a small sacrifice. I do chip-ins on facebook when a pet needs medical care, and I go to TheAnimalRescueSite.com and  click and it helps provide food to hungry animals. Animals are God's creature and they love unconditionally. I wish I could inflict the same suffering on the humans that cause the animals to suffer. Humans are responsible for their own misfortune. They create their own evil and then subject others to it. They deserve what they get.

This is my passion.

6. Sundays

Even though it means that the next day is Monday, Sunday is the best day of the week! We sleep a little later than usual, the kids go to church if they want to, I cook breakfast for the family or the future hubby and I go to the Waffle House while the kids are gone. We hang around at the house, outside. Sunday is clean sheet day and that's always exciting because clean sheets are AWESOME! We grill on Sunday's and we cuddle and watch The Client List or the new Family Guy. It's just an easy, fun, relaxing day!

A Sunday well spent brings a week of content - Proverb

7. Slow Country Nights

Man ol man, there ain't nothing better. Sittin on a tailgate or standing around a fire with a cold beer listening to good music with good people! You can see the stars and there aren't any sirens or heavy traffic. You can hear crickets, and the breeze and all the good stories from back when.

8. Sweet Tea

Sweet tea is an art. It's not some tea bags casually boiled and some sugar thrown in. I like mine strong and sweet and yes, the type of teabags matter. And two cups of sugar per gallon. NO MORE AND NO LESS. The best sweet tea can be found at KFC, Zaxby's, Chic fila, Sonic and MY KITCHEN!

9. My Future Husband
If I could pick one word to describe us it would serendipty...
Finding something good without looking for it!

We met at bar. Cliche, right? So be it yall. I fell in love, and I fell hard, before I knew it. It supposed to be "just a good time" but 3 1/2 years later, we've built a home together and are planning a wedding. He's my favorite what if and he is absolutely my favorite person in the whole entire world, my best friend, my warmth, my comfort, my passion, my laughter. Loving him is fun! Whatever souls are made of,
mine and his are the same.

Damn Right!

Don, sitting in a tractor tire and drinkin a BudLight.

There ya go, nine things I won't budge on. What are some things you won't change your mind about?

Thanks to Lauren from Life.Love.Lauren for hosting this linkup. Check out her adorable blog and find some new ones to stalk follow!

Weigh In Wednesday Fail...Again!

I seriously need to get my shit together. Yesterday I had planned on doing the Weigh In Wednesday linkup. I've been wanting to do it ever since I found Skinny Jean Pilgrimage: A Journey to Milfdom. I have struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember. I wish I was as small as I was back when I first started thinking I was fat. I wasn't fat then. I'm fat now! And unhappy. And miserable. And no matter what, I cannot seem to stay motivated for any amount of time.

As far as failing to do the weigh ins on Wednesday, I always get busy at work (where I blog from - don't judge me! When I'm at home, I try to "be there" - no phones, social media, etc.) or I forget or  I don't know where to start. And yesterday when I walked into work, I stepped on to the scale, read that horrible number, and decided that it was gonna happen.I was going to do my first weigh in, make a plan, and stick with it. I know there is alot of support that can come from blogging and I would finally make myself accountable for the hot mess I created.

But then, I had to call the collection agency that was about to start garnashing my wages for a $2500 student loan from 2005. And everything went to hell. After and hour on the telephone, I was so frustrated and pissed off with that situation that my whole mood went from "Yay! It's Wednesday and I love everything to fuck the fuckin world!"

And then I went to Burger King. What did I order? Not a salad, or a wrap, hell I don't even know if Burger King has anything even kind of remotely healthy. Two BK Bacon Burgers. Not one, but T-W-O! They're tiny and I ususally justify it by bringing up the fact that I never order fries, or drinks but there is no excuse for that mess. I know this. And I'm sick of being unhappy with myself because of my weight so you can bet next Wednesday, I'll be joining the linkup with a real plan and I'm going to have my shit together!

Are you sure it's not Monday?

Today had great potential. Had. Then I got outta bed.

The boss lady was back at work today and that means I actually had to do something work-related.

When she went to lunch, I called to make payment arrangements on my student loan that was in default.

I seriously needed a valium or 5 after this phone call.

And every since then, I've been "Fuck this, fuck that, everything is stupid!"

Today, I don't give zero fucks!

Tuesday Topics Linkup

I love these kinds of linkups! I'm excited to share my TEN favorite pins! Here we go...

1. I can't decide on just one of these pins because they all make my heart smile.

Sweet Things

2. All of these hairstyles are just so freakin awesome! Couldn't decide on just one of these either. 

Hair

3. I love to laugh and every single one of these pins made me do just that.

Giggles



4. This girl here loves to be cute and casual and COMFORTABLE. That's the most important part of an outfit.

Cute and Casual

I actually bought this in a maxi dress.



5. I wish I had little ones so I could take pictures like this:

Cute kids

6. I spend alot of time looking at wedding stuff - of course I am actually planning one.

Mr. and Mrs.

LOVE THIS!

7.  House Inspiration

Home Sweet Home

This was the inspiration for my living room.

8.  All things baby

Baby Bruner

 9.  Random stuff

My Life in Pins

10. And last but not least,

DIY

I probably didn't follow the rules exactly, but I spend entirely too much time on Pinterest and have too many favorites. I hope yall enjoyed seeing some of them!

Head on over and show Lauren from Life.Love.Lauren some love and linkup!